Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kourt went kouponing, Scott bought a piano and Kris was on a quest to uncover Jonathan Cheban’s sexual orientation.
Yes, with a cast as interesting as drywall, they had to bring in this klown.
The story editors and writers are getting creative, though. Give ’em that.
Is Scott serious about his baby grand? Did Kourt save big bucks? What was the final verdict on Jonathan? Does anyone care? Here’s our weekly rekap, THG style!
Scott and friend Chris (not Kris) take a walk and see a fabulous $1.5 million grand piano in a storefront. Wait … they’re serious? Scott has friends still? Plus 10!
Disick goes with the baby grand instead. Recession and all. Plus 12.
As Scott flaunts wealth, Kourtney discovers the couponing craze! See what the writers are doing here, playing up the “opposites attract” angle?! Fail. Minus 35.
Kim and Kris double date with Simon Huck and his boyfriend. Then Huck’s business partner and Kim’s BFF Jonathan Cheban shows up, alone. Mysterious!! Plus 7.
Kris says it’s obvious that Jonathan is a homosexual individual. He then proceeds to ask him about it point blank in a store. Wow, Kris. Awkward much? Minus 20.
Kris says he thought that Jonathan would want to share this with his close friends. Minus 20 more, because Jonathan Cheban and Kris Humphries are not close.Kim even strips in front of him to “test” Cheban and he doesn’t look. We did, though. Nothing we haven’t seen before (thanks Ray J), but still, Plus 100.
The piano arrives, and the KKTNY writers come up with a way to make it more interesting: Kourtney challenges Scott to learn a song. If he pulls it off, they get to bone on top of the thing. If he fails, back goes the piano. This show is beyond amazing/terrible. Wash.
Scott likens learning how to play the piano to wanting to kill himself. Fortunately (unfortunately?) he stopped before things reached that point. Plus 11.
Scott succeeds, and gets it in. No word if this is when he got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant a second time, but that’d be an awesome story at least. Plus 24.
They return the piano anyway, shockingly. Did they have to pay a deposit or special kleaning fee for Scott Disick fornicating on top of it? Unclear, but Plus 8.
Kim kuts to the chase and asks if Jon’s gay. Jonathan’s response is that he doesn’t like to be a dater or “tied down” by anyone. So he’s … a guy. Plus 11.
Simon kan’t solve the puzzle, even as the “Mayor of Gaydar,” so Minus 19.
Kris Humpries confirms that Jonathan is “not not gay.” Minus 48, because Kris looks like he kame up with the funniest f–king line ever with that one.
What is with Kris and tossing people off of balconies? His caveman persona is manifesting itself more and more every week at this rate. Eh, Plus 15.
Jonathan rebuffs Kris’ half-assed apology and the two get into an argument. Plus 20, assuming any of this is genuine, for kalling out Kris’ ignorance.
The best line? Jonathan asks Kris if he had ever flown in a private jet before meeting Kim. Way to zing an NBA player making $8 million a year! Minus 65.
Finally, later, after eating up an entire episode, Jonathan reveals he is heterosexual. Kris offers a scripted apology. They hug it out. We vomit. Minus 70.
Kourtney is taking her kouponing too far, so the family stages a fake intervention, as if any of Kourt’s behavior was remotely believable. Minus 190.
EPISODE TOTAL: -249. SEASON TOTAL: -3,169.
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